What to Show, Tell, and Omit, Part 2

            Every writer must decide what to show, tell, or omit in a manuscript.

Check out these tips:

When characters talk (dialog) they should not repeat what they already know, unless the action took place a few chapters prior and the repetition is used to remind the reader. The purpose of dialog is to enhance character development and push along the plot. If your dialog isn’t doing that, omit it.

Limit the use of “he said” and “she said” as dialog tags. Allow the character to show some action to let the reader know who is speaking. 

Dialog should be authentic. It should sound like the age, gender, and culture of the speaker. A young child sometimes mispronounces words. That can be worked into the dialog to make the character seem real. 

Example:

“Don’t go there,” Annie said.

Annie stopped and stared at Jim. “Don’t go there.”

Also limit the length of a character’s dialog. A character that fills in an entire page without interruption, may be (probably is) talking too much.

Use exposition (explaining) sparingly. Large chunks of information should be fed to the reader in small doses to keep the interest high and the action moving.

Call for Submissions for Young Writers:

Blue Marble Review. Are you age 13 to 21? (Or do you have writing kids?) If so, then Blue Marble Review is worth considering since there are few paying markets for teen writers. They accept fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and art. Pay is $25 ($75 for cover art). All submissions should be unpublished.

Submissions guidelines at https://bluemarblereview.com/submit/

Call for Submissions for Adult Writers:

The Writer magazine: “Calling all YA & kidlit authors: We’re currently accepting pitches for our annual “Writing for Young Readers” issue! We are interested in how-to stories, reported pieces, narrative essays, and profiles of writers and others in the field.

Submissions guidelines at https://www.writermag.com/the-magazine/submission-guidelines/

Nancy Kelly Allen has written 50+ children’s books and a cookbook, SPIRIT OF KENTUCKY: BOURBON COOKBOOK.

Dialog/Call for Submissions

In most fictional books, characters talk with each other. The ability to speak makes us human and speech in fiction helps to bring the characters alive, to make them fully developed. Dialog is usually introduced early and each character should have a distinctive manner of speaking. Dialog must be interesting, reflect the character, and carry the plot forward. That’s easier said than done. Here are some key points for writing dialog that will appeal to readers.

1. Avoid accents. Figuring out what the character is saying slows down the story and distracts the reader. If accents are used sentence after sentence, reading is like decoding a message. A word or two is enough to give the reader a sense of the accent. Greater usage makes reading difficult and the reader will likely abandon the story.

2. Listen to how people talk. Words and phrases can identify a region or a particular profession. A teacher would not use the same words as a student in describing a plant or animal. As we vary the style of speech, dialog tags can be removed in a lengthy discussion between two characters.

“Jill, how do you remove this label?” asked Jack.
“What label? Jill turned to look at Jack.
“This label on the ransom note.”

The reader can follow who is speaking without “said Jack” attached to the piece of dialog. And “said Jill” can be eliminated by placing Jane in action following dialog.

3. Reveal portions of the plot through dialog. Maybe the character could hint about a surprise event or threaten harm. This not only develops the character but makes the surprise or threat more real when it is spoken rather than revealed through narrative. The suspense value is heightened.

Next week, I’ll introduce more tips for writing dialog.

Call for submissions for young writers:
Kentucky State Poetry Society STUDENT POETRY CONTESTS -- K thru 12 -- No entry fees -- Cash Prizes. This is a great way to get students interested in poetry.
Deadline: March 1
Details at http://www.kystatepoetrysociety.org/files/KSPS_2012_StudentPoetryContest.pdf


Call for submissions for adult writers:
The Flatt Prize for Literature welcomes submissions of short stories (no longer than 3,000 words). “The theme for the short story is to be inspired by the title ‘INTERRUPTED’.” $1,000 prize. No entry fee. Deadline: February 29, 2012.
Details at http://flattprize.com/submission.htm

Check out more contests on my blog: http://nancykellyallen.blogspot.com/

I often struggle with dialog and sometimes question if dialog is needed. Some picture books have no dialog at all, but as readers grow older, dialog is important to bring the character to life. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you write dialog in your stories.

“Said” is the preferred dialog tag. These tags are used after a character has spoken. Avoid other words such as declared, vowed, remarked, whispered, shouted, or bragged. Those words stand out and sometimes get in the way of the story. “Said” is used so much it has become invisible and the reader hardly notices it. Don’t be concerned that “said” is boring. Rev up the plot. That’s what grabs the reader’s interest.

Avoid using adverbs in dialog tags, such as she said excitedly. Show the excitement in the character’s action or words, rather than telling the reader.

The conversation should carry the story forward. If “Hello, how are you?” and “Fine, thank you,” doesn’t add to the plot or character development, leave it out. Cut the chit-chat.

When characters talk, make it meaningful. They should have a reason for talking rather than merely provide information to the reader. Straight question and answer sessions are usually dull and boring. In dialog, the characters should reveal themselves so the reader understands them better.

Next week, I’ll discuss more on dialog.

Contest for Adult Writers
Flash Fiction
For the Flash Fiction competition the top five entries will be selected by public vote, and the winning story chosen by the Judging Panel. To vote, individual must register on the Light Reading website. Each voter may vote for as many stories they wish, but can only cast one vote for each story. Any attempts by individual voters to vote multiple times for a single story, for example by registering with multiple email addresses may result in all their votes being disqualified. The use of robotic or automated devices for voting is strictly prohibited, and Diamond determines that this has been the case we reserve the right to disqualify both voter and contestant.
Details at http://www.light-reading.org/

Contest for Young Writers
Jack And Jill, P.O. Box 567, Indianapolis, IN 46206. Publishes stories, poems, riddles, and jokes written by students in grades 2-6.

Dialog Tags/Swifties/Contests

Dialogue tags often consist of only two words, such as “he said.” Said is the recommended verb because the word become invisible to the reader. There’s an interesting dialog tag called Tom Swiftie. Or Swiftie. Or Swifty. A Swiftie is a sentence in which a phrase and the dialog tag become a pun. The name dates back to the early 1900s when author Edward L. Stratemeyer wrote a series of books about a character named Tom Swift. Stratemeyer also created the Bobbsey Twins, Nancy Drew, and the Hardy Boys. He didn’t actually write the series, but he created the characters and developed the plots for his books. Various writers wrote the stories.

Here are some examples of Swifties:

"The number of people not attending class today really bothers me," said the professor absent-mindedly.
"I like modern painting," said Tom abstractly.
"I find my job painful -- every inch of it," said Lear achingly.
"There's room for one more," Tom admitted.
"Here's your allowance for the next two weeks," Tom advanced.
"Fire!" yelled Tom alarmingly.

Am I suggesting that Swifties are a practice we should strive for in our writing? Hardly. But we should view these as a glaring reminder that a simple dialog tag, such as “he said” is often all that is needed; otherwise, the dialog tag can become a distraction to the reader.

Contests:

Each issue of Literary Laundry is accompanied by a writing competition. All pieces submitted to us for review will be entered into consideration for our Awards of Distinction. Cash awards are offered for the following:

$500 for best poem
$500 for best short story
$250 for best one-act drama

Deadline December 1, 2010.
Details at http://www.literarylaundry.com/submissions

The Angel Animals Network 2010 True Story Contest is now accepting submissions of stories about animals helping children, parents, and families deal with chronically difficult situations and circumstances or temporary tough periods in a child’s life.
Deadline: September 15, 2010
Details at http://www.angelanimals.net/contests.html#Announcement

Birdsong Micropress Winter 2010 Poetry + Prose Contest
New York literary zine Birdsong is now accepting submissions for our Winter 2010 Poetry + Prose Contest. A prize of $50, publication in birdsong #14, 10 complimentary copies of the zine (edition of 200, full color, screenprinted cover), and a featured spot in our Brooklyn reading series in mid-December will be awarded a single person in each category. Submit a 12 pt. standard font .doc file of up to three pages of poetry, or 1500 words of double-spaced prose.
Deadline: 10 October 2010
Details at http://birdsongmag.com/contest/


For students:

Kids Are Authors is an annual competition open to Grades K-8 and is designed to encourage students to use their reading, writing, and artistic skills to create their own books. Under the guidance of a project coordinator, children work in teams of three or more students to write and illustrate their own book. Two Grand Prize winning books will be published in each of these categories: Fiction and Nonfiction. The winning books
will be published by Scholastic and sold at Book Fairs throughout the country. Each Grand Prize winning team receives:
· $5,000 in merchandise from the Scholastic Book Fairs School
Resource Catalog to be awarded to the public/private school
or non-profit organization of their choice.
· 100 copies of their published book
Other prizes included.
Deadline March 15, 2011
Details at http://www.scholastic.com/bookfairs/contest/kaa_about.asp