Twirl and Swirl--Adding Rhythm to Prose

My goal in adding rhythm to prose is to dance words across the page. Another name for this is voice. I never reach my goal on the first draft, and often not by the tenth. Little by little, as I revise the manuscript, the words begin to swing and sway, rollick and roll. Picture book text relies on a rhythm, whether it’s prose or rhyme.

Think of rhythm in terms of music. Listening to the upbeat sound of the Rolling Stones makes me shimmy and shake. An Elton John ballad brings on the swing and sway. The beat. The cadence. The rhythm. They affect us in the same way as we read. Short phrases speed up the action as in this scene in BARRELING OVER NIAGARA FALLS: Annie jostled inside the small, dark barrel, bobbing through the rapids, slamming into rocks. The barrel pitched and rolled—forward and back, left and right, up and down—in the rough, tough bucking-bronco ride. The sentences are long but the phrasing is short with emphasis is on the short phrase.       

Longer sentences, without short phrases, slow the action. I used this method as the beginning scene in HIRAM’S GIFT: Many winters ago Hiram walked to school from deep in a holler, snuggled tight between two mountains. A lemon pie moon dangled like a giant’s lantern and lit the path. 

When you read picture books, notice the rhythm of the words. When you find a passage that you particularly like, read it aloud. Does it swing and sway? Boogie and scoot? Tap and snap?

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U.S. Kids Magazines (Humpty Dumpty and Jack and Jill), providing fun, entertaining reading material is our priority. We accept humorous, playful, and witty stories that kids would love to read—not stories that grownups think kids should read.

As part of the Children’s Better Health Institute, we are always in need of high-quality stories, articles, and activities with a broad health and fitness focus. Please keep in mind that we would rather show kids living a healthy lifestyle than dictate a healthy lifestyle to our readers. In other words, health topics should be incorporated into the story or article, not be the focus of it.

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Nancy Kelly Allen has written 48 children’s books and a cookbook, SPIRIT OF KENTUCKY: BOURBON COOKBOOK.

Leave a message or check out my blog at www.nancykellyallen.com

Picture Book Revision, part 2

            Tips on revision, continued:

My thought processes rely heavily on verbs that don’t show action: is, are, was, were…. In revision, I eliminate many of the non-action verbs and replace them with other verbs that paint a specific picture (pedaled, skipped, barked). Action verbs don’t need modifiers, so fewer words are needed to describe the scene.

Add rhythm. Alliteration (fog floated) makes the prose livelier. Onamonapia (bumpty-bump) adds a beat that sounds like poetry when read aloud. Rhythm is how the words connect, a rise and fall of the phrases and sentences.

Less dialog. Picture books don’t rely heavily on dialog. Usually, dialog is no more than 1/3 of the text, often much less. Rather than conversations, use action scenes that can be illustrated with the narrator relating the action. The targeted audience is young children who prefer fast action to character conversation, which often slows the action. Of course, this is a general rule. Some books have no dialog, and some are all dialog.

Let the illustrations tell part of the story. Picture book writers have to think visually. When I write a first draft, I include scenes that describe illustrations. In revision, I study each word, phrase, and sentence; then, delete everything down to the bare action. Sometimes I cut so much, I have to add it again to make the story understandable. Picture books are short and the stories are to the point.

Every page in the book must show action and the pace is usually fast. After writing the first draft, I divide the manuscript into 13 scenes. Each scene must show action. If not, more revision is required.

Next week, I’ll add more tips.

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How Long Does It Take to Write a Picture Book?

The number one question I’m asked about writing: How long does it take to write a picture book?  

Of all the writing questions I’m asked, that one is the hardest to answer. In a measurement of time, do I include the conceptual preparation, that phase when I consider countless obstacles the character can encounter? Or do I begin with the first time I place pen to paper or fingers to keyboard? From the origin of the idea to the first written word of the manuscript may consume weeks, maybe months. The character lingers, like the sweet aroma of a cake baking, in the oven of my mind. As the idea jells (or curdles), I sometimes write notes on the character, plot, and single phrases; I sometimes let them hang out and tantalize my senses, with scenes etching into my brain before I begin stringing words on paper. 

I’ve been keeping notes on one particular character that has been marching around my thinker for a few weeks. Today, I took action and began writing the manuscript. So is this day one or day fifty-seven?  

After rewriting the first draft, a second, a third…at some point, whenever it is fairly polished, I’ll send it to my critique partner. I’ll polish again and place it aside for a month or so. During that time, I’ll think about it occasionally, cognitively making changes, as I work on another manuscript. Do I count those days? 

I don’t keep track of my time; however, some authors do. They log their time on each project and can answer the question posed here in actual days/hours/minutes. I’m not that time-task oriented. My mind tends to wander off track too often to keep a time log; instead, I have to admit: I don’t know the answer. But this I know: The time it takes to write a picture book varies with every book and every author.

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Nancy Kelly Allen has written 40+ children’s books and a cookbook, SPIRIT OF KENTUCKY: BOURBON COOKBOOK. Check out her blog at www.nancykellyallen.com